A BUNCH OF PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN AS THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN EXPLORED THROUGH MYTHOLOGY, LITERATURE, ART, THEATER, DANCE, MUSIC, PHILOSOPHY, AND RELIGION
Your play is really interesting, and I like the direction you decided to go in. You obviously know a lot about cars, and I love how you worked that knowledge into your play. The "carsonified" versions of the original characters are spot on; they really captured the personalities of each character. Your setting and time descriptions were very descriptive, which is always a good thing. You obviously didn't meet the line requirement, but what you had was pretty good. You really captured the individual voices of each character. I really enjoyed the lines that referenced typical car things like fuel and gas pumps, but some of those lines didn't really fit. I don't really understand what lead fuel really has to do with the whole Oedipus story. There wasn't a clear connection. However, I love the last line of your play. It communicates a great philosophical idea given the small amount of ideas represented in your paper. If you put a bit more effort into your play it could have been really fantastic, but what you have is a great start!
Nick, I'm going to agree with gabby on a lot of this. For starters, your character descriptions were amazing. I was laughing out loud. Unfortunately the rest of the play just doesn't live up to the descriptions. I really know nothing about cars so I can't comment on your selections but the general idea was quite entertaining.
In the character descriptions you make comments about each of the characters but many of them are not referenced in the play. You touch on little comments about the characters but there is no detail or exploration of these concepts. Also many of the lines seem thrown together but at the same time there are several lines that have no importance. The only part Hamlet seems to have is to whine. I think you could have said so much more. Job makes a comment about God but then later says something about "faith testing" that is insightful. Each character seems to say one small hint at their thoughts and beliefs but you almost have to know their stories in order to pick up on it.
Gabs I think the lead fuel is showing age, like when old people say "when I was young we...".
Finally your last line is good but I think gabby is giving you more credit than you deserve for it. I think that you are comparing owners to fate? But it might have been easier to give a line like that to Job and compare owners to God.
Overall you had a few cleaver thoughts. The concept is very different from any of the other themes which is intriguing and out of the box. However your thoughts are so underdeveloped it's really just a tease. I wish that you had spent less time on the descriptions and the setting and more time on the play itself. Gabby is right it is a good start but it's not more than that. Some of the characters barely speak three times, if that. From the theater side, this is a really cool concept if you were able to execute your thoughts it could be an interesting play to perform.
This play is fantastic. It was super funny and clever. You combined something you obviously know a lot about with cars. I particularly enjoyed Hamlet's car because of how accurately portrayed his stature. I also thought that the cars you chose were really accurate. If you just finished this play up, it undoubtedly would have been the best and most clever in the class. Good job, man.
Nick,
ReplyDeleteYour play is really interesting, and I like the direction you decided to go in. You obviously know a lot about cars, and I love how you worked that knowledge into your play. The "carsonified" versions of the original characters are spot on; they really captured the personalities of each character. Your setting and time descriptions were very descriptive, which is always a good thing. You obviously didn't meet the line requirement, but what you had was pretty good. You really captured the individual voices of each character. I really enjoyed the lines that referenced typical car things like fuel and gas pumps, but some of those lines didn't really fit. I don't really understand what lead fuel really has to do with the whole Oedipus story. There wasn't a clear connection. However, I love the last line of your play. It communicates a great philosophical idea given the small amount of ideas represented in your paper. If you put a bit more effort into your play it could have been really fantastic, but what you have is a great start!
Nick, I'm going to agree with gabby on a lot of this. For starters, your character descriptions were amazing. I was laughing out loud. Unfortunately the rest of the play just doesn't live up to the descriptions. I really know nothing about cars so I can't comment on your selections but the general idea was quite entertaining.
ReplyDeleteIn the character descriptions you make comments about each of the characters but many of them are not referenced in the play. You touch on little comments about the characters but there is no detail or exploration of these concepts. Also many of the lines seem thrown together but at the same time there are several lines that have no importance. The only part Hamlet seems to have is to whine. I think you could have said so much more. Job makes a comment about God but then later says something about "faith testing" that is insightful. Each character seems to say one small hint at their thoughts and beliefs but you almost have to know their stories in order to pick up on it.
Gabs I think the lead fuel is showing age, like when old people say "when I was young we...".
Finally your last line is good but I think gabby is giving you more credit than you deserve for it. I think that you are comparing owners to fate? But it might have been easier to give a line like that to Job and compare owners to God.
Overall you had a few cleaver thoughts. The concept is very different from any of the other themes which is intriguing and out of the box. However your thoughts are so underdeveloped it's really just a tease. I wish that you had spent less time on the descriptions and the setting and more time on the play itself. Gabby is right it is a good start but it's not more than that. Some of the characters barely speak three times, if that. From the theater side, this is a really cool concept if you were able to execute your thoughts it could be an interesting play to perform.
Also you have no internal documentation.
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DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis play is fantastic. It was super funny and clever. You combined something you obviously know a lot about with cars. I particularly enjoyed Hamlet's car because of how accurately portrayed his stature. I also thought that the cars you chose were really accurate. If you just finished this play up, it undoubtedly would have been the best and most clever in the class. Good job, man.
ReplyDelete